Letters From Lady JayeWe Can’t Always be a Ten, Letters from Lady Jaye

Jana Lee MachecaJune 1, 2021

Today sucks. In fact, you know what? The last few weeks, maybe the last couple months have sucked. Not just for me either, it really seems like most of the people I know are going through their own craziness. My normal attitude is gone and in it’s place is a very angry person who is wondering why the sun is out and birds are chirping, even though the opposite being true at 2pm would mean something like the apocalypse. There’s no reason for it, nothing happened today to cause this but it’s related to todays post because it’s days like these that I, and you, have to remind ourselves – We can’t always be a ten.

I should say that I’m a strong advocate for understanding your mental health and healthy ways to deal with it. Generally speaking… watching the world burn is a bad idea my dear friend. (Even if it feels like it’s the best option.) There are days you wake up and your mood is stuck in the Hulk Mad position and there is nothing you can do but go with it. There are times when you finally get a single, normal, non crazy day, and you can’t enjoy it because all of the stuff you’ve been dealing with well is finally getting a chance to catch up to you. When it happens, breathe. So many of us are caught up in a never ending loop of stress, work, family obligations, that even our passions and hobbies seem to drain us. If you have ever found yourself trying to aggressively relax, then you know what I mean. For those that don’t understand my term:

Aggressively Relax /noun/; the state of doing something that should be relaxing but doing it so fast, or with such ferocity, that you find yourself stressing out even more because you can't relax.

Bad days happen and so do bad moods but they get worse when we expect too much of ourselves. No one is always a ten; not in looks, mood, intelligence, parenting, artistic endeavors not in anything. We are human. We cannot always find the energy, or the strength, to be on our ‘A’ game and that’s ok because that all comes from a limited supply and some days there’s a shortage. Sometimes the best thing to do is push through and other times our best bet is to tell ourselves to stop pushing. Jaye’s Law #12 & #13: Treat yourself like your best friend. There is no such thing as perfection, so quit trying to be perfect. 

I have seen artists, entertainers, crafters and more become so frustrated that they’re ready to walk away from what they normally love. I know parents who feel like terrible people for not wanting to clean up the house, yet again, from a child’s mess. There are people dealing with physical or mental issues who are sick of their own bodies because they’re not functioning properly. These are all so natural and normal but we seem to think it’s not normal for us. The first step? Stop expecting so much from yourself. If your best friend came to you and told you what they were going through, you’d be sympathetic and it’s time to turn that sympathy inward. Once you’ve done that, identify the real problem, which can be as simple as needing a break – from your stress, your life, or someone/something else. The final step is to make a change.

We can’t always be a ten, and that’s just fine. Some days being a two is enough and some days you might find yourself operating in the negative numbers. When the latter happens, reach out and talk to someone, even if your first inclination is to bottle it up. You matter enough to care about, you are worthy of support, and no one is able to do it all alone. Try to learn from mistakes, forgive yourself for bad days, and create a close circle of supportive and loving people. Just make certain that one of those people is you.