Featured ArticlesMusic ReviewsGod Hates Unicorns – No Gloryholes in Heaven

Anthony McDonough3 weeks ago1426 min

Hailing from Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, God Hates Unicorns is here to introduce us to their sleazy brand of rock with their debut album No Gloryholes In Heaven. The album contains ten tracks with an additional two bonus tracks; their quirky cover of “Man I Feel Like A Woman” and bombastic “Chipped Ma’am“, and was produced with the assistance of Razorblade Recordings.

God Hates Unicorns is comprised of six members and was formed in 2014 by vocalist, keyboardist Joshua Hartz (Debutante) and bassist Jeff Zambon. Then in 2018, former Skratch members Tim Saunders and Marcus “Mote” Gabriel were added, followed by Matthew “B!ff Nasty” Crippen in 2019, with the final piece of the puzzle Jessica Zoric on vocals to complete the current lineup.

The songs are as crude and as raunchy as they come, with a blend of rock and synth sounds that makes them all sound pretty catchy. Vocalists Joshua Hartz and and Jessica Zoric, who is also the vocalist of The Molecule Party, trade off their singing chops that transition so well throughout the album. All in all, it hit all the right notes for me. Some of my personal favorites from the album is the broody “Gothic Jesus“, the ballsy “God Hates Unicorns“, and rock anthem “It’s Not Real“. Overall, the No Gloryholes In Heaven album has an unique blend that will sound like nothing you heard before, and it is definitely worth checking out.

No Gloryholes In Heaven is currently available for preorder here, and for those who preorder will get a “personalized” Valentine from the band. You can also pre-save the album on Spotify. You can learn additional information, and find plenty more music and links to God Hates Unicorns on their official website, Facebook, Bandcamp, and Youtube pages.

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